The week alone.

Allison is spending this week in NC visiting her mom and grandparents. As such I've had a lot more free time than usual, and I usually have a lot of free time. Some thoughts.

- I like the idea of having a hobby, something to tinker with, but in reality, it just means buying more stuff.

- However there are things that I have the support structure for already - like a car, but I haven't had a car for a year. There's an old BMW I might go see later today, but the rational side of my brain is telling me just to give up and get rid of all of the car-stuff while I'm living out here.

- The other problem with a hobby is that many of the ones I've thought of aren't social. Playing rec-league soccer or something after work appeals to me, but most of the fields are way out in the suburbs, unsurprisingly.

- I think the problem is that I don't feel settled, and don't know if I want to feel settled, in a place, presently. A male afraid of commitment - how stereotypical you might say. I think it's just the ongoing conflict of 'Is this the job, place and life I wanted?' Life's good, stable job, enough income for good food to cook and nice shirts, right now, so yes is the current answer. The follow up question to that is 'now that I've figured that out what else is there for the remaining 60 years of life?' and '60 years, that's a long time, what do I have to do to prepare for it?' and 'is preparing for it, emotionally, financially, even possible right now?'

- I suppose that kind of thinking and those kinds of questions are why most of the rest of the world is so big on distractions...